Some of us have had hard lives. Probably even most of us have had hard times in life. I am willing to bet that everyone has had to face a challenge at some point in their lives. Some people face more challenges than others, and we call them strong. The people who have survived challenges that we don’t think we could handle often hold our admiration.
What is strength?
That which we call strength could also be called stubbornness. It is the willpower within us that drives us to keep on despite whatever situation we are in. It is the refusal to allow external circumstances to affect our inner world. We lock into a specific vision of our lives to keep it from getting worse. It keeps our heads above water, so to speak. We don’t let anyone talk us out of this vision because then we would lose hope.
What happens, though, when the struggle is over? Do we let go of our stubbornness and allow our story to change? If only it were as easy as that. In my own experience, I have noticed that I have a hard time letting things get better. I can easily believe in things getting harder, but getting better I struggle with. For so long I have been called strong that my subconscious now thinks it has to keep proving that story. “I am strong” has become a curse that keeps me unwittingly looking for new struggles to overcome.
This is very unhelpful. Why do I feel like I have to prove that I am strong? Because then I feel like I am special. The extrinsic validation is powerful. It is also insidious and self-defeating. I don’t want to be strong. I want to live a life of ease. Strong and ease don’t go together. Muscles that get to lounge around on the beach with some tropical drink in hand don’t get stronger. Muscles only get strong when you work them and give them resistance.
Our spiritual muscles are the same way. Do I want an easy life, or do I want to be strong? In order to get the easy life, I have to stop working my muscles with resistance. I have to let go. If I want to lift my family up out of poverty, I need to stop praising myself for being so good at stretching our money. I have to stop trying to be strong. I have to allow more abundance to come into our lives.
The law of attraction brings us whatever is a match to our personal vibration. Where focus goes, energy flows. If our vibration is filled with ideas of being strong, we will get more opportunities to show people how strong we are. As we come to find those experiences more commonplace through familiarity, we can easily find that our circumstances get harder and harder so we can continue to think of ourselves as strong.
Let’s change our story. Since our external world is defined by our internal world, we have to start there. We need to reject the label of strong so we can instead adopt the story that our life is easy. Things naturally just come together for us. We always have what we need. We are a treasured child of the universe, and our every request is granted. Our only job is to make sure we are requesting the things we really want.
I can hear you now saying, “Of course I’m asking for what I really want, but the universe isn’t giving it to me.” If you really examine your inner world, I’m sure you will discover contradictions in your requests. Yes, you are asking the universe for more income. I have no doubt of that. But what about the ego boost you feel when people remark on how amazed they are at your frugality? That sort of remark never fails to puff me up with pride.
I have to learn to let go of that. My personal struggle is with feeling like an imposter. I believe that once I can change the source of my ego boost from the pride of frugality to the pride of dancing effortlessly through life, that that will become my reality. I’m not saying it is easy, and it will require strength to see it through. Strength to refuse to allow my current circumstances to affect the vision I have for my future. Strength must be my tool, not my master.